Shhhh, keep this quiet, don't tell anyone, but Jesus was a (wait for it) Jew, who was born in (careful, is anyone listening?), Bethlehem. But don't say this too loudly, and certainly don't sing any songs about it, because it would be frighteningly embarrassing to have to acknowledge this when Palestinians are being persecuted by those horrible Jews. After all, that would complicate our relationships with the wider community (particularly the trendy anti-Zionist left) wouldn't it, and that has to be a higher priority than singing Biblical and historical truths, right? And, while we're at it, we'd better rip out all the references to Israel and Jews and Jewishness in the New Testament as well, there'll only be a page or so left but hey, it will be worth it so that we can show how relevant and with it we really are. In the process, we can rip out other bits of the Bible we don't like, and then people will really listen to us. Merry Christmas everyone!
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